Ron's Birthday Wish
by Vanyaria Darkshadow
Summary: COMPLETE It's Ron's 21st Birthday - will he get what he really wants? The answer is no. But what happens when someone gives Harry Firewhiskey? And what happens when Fred and George find a blender? Don't attempt this at home, kids.
1. In which Harry vomits out a window

Birthday Wish  
  
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Disclaimer: Don't own ANY of the characters this time, they belong to JKR. I don't own Harry and Ron's flat either - that belongs to Harry and Ron, which I guess makes it in turn belong to JKR. Grrr _  
  
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"Surprise! Happy Birthday!!"  
  
His ear's were deafened as he walked through the front door of his and his best friends' flat, and about 30 people jumped out from the darkness shouting their salutations. Ron forced a shocked expression on his face. He wondered whether he should clutch his heart, or if it would be a bit over- the-top.  
  
It was his 21st Birthday and Harry had organised a big surprise party for Ron. If Ron's acting skills were convincing enough, Harry still thought it was a surprise - Ron didn't have the heart to tell him he found Harry's plans weeks ago.  
  
"Er. . . wow. . . I, er. . . what a surprise!" Ron had never been a good actor, but by the looks of things, his friends had been celebrating for awhile before he got there, and several were too drunk to stand unsupported, let alone notice his bad acting skills.  
  
"Rooooon!" Harry stumbled over to Ron and embraced his best friend in a rather sloppy hug. "Are you surprised?"  
  
"Absolutely," said Ron, patting Harry awkwardly on the back. "Er, are you drunk?"  
  
Harry looked shocked.  
  
"No! I haven't had anything all night." He swayed where he stood, then giggled like a girl. "Are *you* drunk? You look drunk, you're dancing is waaay off, mate."  
  
"Harry - you know what? I think Ginny wants a dance with you! Go ask her!" Ron pushed Harry off in the general direction of his younger sister, and shook his head. Who the heck had given Harry alcohol? Bad idea. Very bad idea. But it could be entertaining later on - he'd better go find a camera.  
  
"Happy Birthday, Ron."  
  
Ron turned around and saw Hermione standing behind him, smiling.  
  
"Er. . . are *you* drunk, too?"  
  
"No, no. I managed to resist the temptation. . . I prefer watching everyone else make fools of themselves," she said, pointing towards Harry who was entertaining a rather tipsy Ginny with his imitation of Muggle break dancing. "Don't you wish you had your camera?"  
  
"I was just thinking that."  
  
"You weren't very surprised, were you, Ron?" Hermione looked him in the eye. Ron felt his face heat up and knew he had turned a rather betraying shade of beetroot red.  
  
"How did you guess?"  
  
"Woman's intuition. Don't worry, though - Harry's way too out of it to realise." Their eyes turned back to The Boy Who Lived, who was now crawling along the ground being The Boy Who Couldn't Find His Glasses. He made it to Ron and Hermione where he sat up on his knees (glasses on his face, where they had been the whole time) and held his goblet up for inspection.  
  
"Look," said Harry, "Firewhisky! You drink it, and your mouth feels like it's on fire. . . but. . . IT'S NOT! Crazy huh?"  
  
"Yep. Crazy stuff, Harry." Ron patted him on the head. Harry smiled serenely and passed out on the floor.  
  
"So. . . the big 21, aye Ron? How does it feel?" Hermione asked him as they stepped over Harry's motionless body.  
  
"Terribly. . . surprising," said Ron with a grin.  
  
"I can imagine," Hermione laughed. "Do you want anything to drink?"  
  
"Sure. . . anything Harry hasn't tasted tonight." Ginny was currently applying make-up to the comatose Harry.  
  
Ron and Hermione walked to the kitchen together to find Fred and George surrounded by various food items found in the cupboards, several types of alcohol, and the blender.  
  
"G'day, Ron. When did you get here?" Fred beamed.  
  
"Just now."  
  
"We're the bartenders tonight -"  
  
"What can we get you?"  
  
"Ah, er. . . two butterbeers?"  
  
"Butterbeer? We can make you something better than that. . . how about. . . tomato sauce -"  
  
"egg -"  
  
"baking soda -"  
  
"Firewhiskey -"  
  
"pumpkin juice -"  
  
"Er, no. Butterbeer is fine."  
  
"That's would be a great drink. We should call it -"  
  
"Greforge Sunrise."  
  
"Fegrege Surprise."  
  
"Gorfred Supreme."  
  
Hermione, realising that no sense would be got out of the twins that night (or let's face it - ever) and found two butterbeers in the fridge for herself and Ron.  
  
"So, when are you going to open your presents?" she asked, handing Ron one of the cold bottles.  
  
"They bought me presents? I thought they were just here to mess up my apartment and vomit in my pot-plants."  
  
"Don't worry - Harry organised the party, he'll clean up."  
  
"Damn straight he will." Harry was currently chucking up out the window, with Ginny rubbing his back, more thrilled that she was touching him than disgusted by what he was doing.  
  
"Remind me never to walk outside in bare feet again," said Hermione, wrinkling her nose.  
  
Ron looked at Hermione out of the corner of his eye. She still had bushy hair, never wore make-up and spent more time thinking about the library opening times than her wardrobe, but Ron thought she was beautiful. Not that he'd ever tell anyone that. It was his own secret. She was also the only sober friend at his birthday party. Normally he'd be getting inebriated with the best of them, but if it was a toss up between being drunk and spending quality time with Hermione, then it was a no-brainer for Ron.  
  
"Truth or Dare!" Lavender Brown yelled out, and was swarmed by a group of giggling girls, dragging along a couple of reluctant males. They all sat around in a big circle in Ron and Harry's lounge and began to play. After awhile, the boys became tired of the incessant "who do you have a crush on?" type questions, and turned it into a drinking game. This resulted in more than one person using pot-plants and the window (among other toilet- substitutes) - not because of the alcohol as such, but because of what Fred and George had mixed with it. It wasn't a pretty sight, but Ron managed to snap many happy memories of his 21st on camera. They would be used for blackmail of course.  
  
Everyone who was able to leave the party started stumbling home in the early hours of the morning. The rest of Ron's friends were apparently sleeping on the sofas. Or the kitchen bench. Or the bathroom floor. Basically wherever they fell. Ron reluctantly said goodbye to Hermione at around 2am. She felt bad leaving the mess behind, but promised Ron she would be back in the morning to help clean up - Harry didn't look as if he would make a very good helper - he was curled up in the corner hugging a delighted Ginny and sobbing about his various misfortunes.  
  
Ron sighed as he climbed into his bed (after kicking Seamus and Lavender out). All in all it had been a good party, but not so much a good birthday. He hadn't needed to unwrap his gifts to know he hadn't got the one thing he truly wanted.  
  
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A/N I'm going to apologise right now. I am very, very sorry. I have no idea what inspired my to write this. I'm very tired, and I should be in bed, or at least making constructive use of my un-bediness. But, alas, I am not, and this is the result. The moral of the story? Eat your kids before they get old enough to abuse the English language this badly :P  
  
read and review or I'll set my flying monkeys on you! 


	2. In which Harry regrets waking up and we ...

Chapter 2  
  
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Disclaimer: I don't even own this computer, let alone any of the characters I play around with on it.  
  
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Hermione came around to Ron and Harrys' the next morning at around 10am. No one was awake, but the front door was still wide open from the night before, so she walked in.  
  
Harry and Ginny were still lying together in the corner - Hermione wondered if Harry would be quite as delighted as Ginny when they woke up to find themselves entangled.  
  
She stepped over the various bodies lying on the floor and walked to Rons' room. She opened his door to find him still asleep in bed. Hermione smiled maternally as she watched her friend sleep. He was wearing Chudley Cannons pyjama's and his sleeping face was looking so peaceful and innocent.  
  
*Too* peaceful and innocent.  
  
Hermione jumped on his bed.  
  
"Wake up, Ron!"  
  
Ron sat up with a start, squinting in the bright sunlight peeking around his curtains.  
  
"What the- Who the- Hermione?"  
  
Ron's face coloured a lovely shade of scarlet and he clutched at his sheets, pulling them up to cover his pj's.  
  
"Too late, Ron. I already saw. I also read your diary and tried on your clothes."  
  
Ron blanched.  
  
"What - you actually have a diary, Ron Weasley!" exclaimed Hermione is delight. "Damnit - I can't believe I didn't even look for one. Well, next time I will. Never go to sleep again Ron, unless you want me to find out all your secrets."  
  
"Ah. . . no. I - I don't have a diary. . ." Ron stammered. It was way to early in the morning to try and think this fast. On top of that, now he would have to find a better hiding place for his diary. And - good lord - Hermione - THE Hermione - was on his bed. . . "Er, Hermione. Why are you in my room at like, 6 o'clock in the morning?"  
  
"Try 10 o'clock. And I'm here to help you clean up after last night."  
  
"Er. Right. Well. Can I have some privacy while I get dressed?" Hermione left the room, still shocked that Ron actually kept a diary. She had known him for how long? 10 years? Crazy - who would have guessed?  
  
Hermione entered the living room and gazed around at the mess. Sheeesh. There were cans and bottles and glasses scattered around everywhere - some empty, some still half full, some encrusted in a variety of Fred and Georges' sticky creations. There were bits of little pastries and potato crisps all over the ground, not to mention random items of clothing and other personal belonging left behind by guests. And then, of course, there were all the randoms sleeping on the floor, the couch. . . the coffee table? How could people possibly managed to create such a mess (not to mention sleep on a coffee table)? Hermione sighed, found a broom and started to sweep up the rubbish.  
  
Ron came into the room, still squinting and rubbing his eyes.  
  
"Mornin', 'Mione," he grunted, still embarrassed that the girl he liked had seen him in his pj's. His Chudley Cannons pj's at that.  
  
"Mornin' Ron." Hermione poked a sleeping Neville Longbottom in the back with the broom handle. He groaned and didn't move. "Ok, so I'll clean that bit later. . ."  
  
Suddenly there was a scream from the corner and Harry stood up abruptly. His robes were encrusted with a pinkish, sticky liquid and his hair was all sticking up one on side (more than usual). The remains of the make-up Ginny had so loving applied the night before was smeared across his face. Hermione and Ron looked at him and burst out laughing.  
  
Ginny sat up beside him, and from the look on her face, all her wishes had come true.  
  
"Er, Ron, maybe we should clean the kitchen."  
  
"Yup. Good idea."  
  
Things weren't much better in the kitchen. Well, Harry and Ginny weren't in there sorting out their personal lives ,which was definitely a bonus, but the mess was possibly worse. In fact, it was most decidedly worse. Sticky patches of blended fruit, vegetables, cooking ingredients and Firewhiskey were splattered all over the walls, ceiling, floor and cupboard doors. Ron groaned and kicked one of the twins. He didn't know which, as the head of the sleeping twin was in the open fridge. There was no sign of the other one.  
  
Sighing, Hermione began collecting up all the unused ingredients and opened a cupboard door above her head. She screamed and dropped the cans, jars and boxes back on the ground. Fred blinked and opened his eyes.  
  
"Hey, Hermione. What are you doing down there?"  
  
"What are you doing up there?"  
  
"I don't really remember. . . but I've never slept in a cupboard before. So, all round a good night, I'd say."  
  
"Er. . . good for you." Hermione closed the cupboard door and looked at Ron with raised eyes. Run just shrugged.  
  
"I stopped trying to understand a long time ago. I expect this is the first time George slept in a fridge too."  
  
"Well, it was a great night for firsts then."  
  
Harry sidled into the room.  
  
"Uh, guys. Did I do anything. . . bad last night?"  
  
"No, Harry. Of course not. But it's a good thing you proposed to Ginny, because after all the things you were doing together in your room, she's probably carrying your child."  
  
Harry looked like he had just seen Snape washing his hair. In the nude.  
  
Combined with his morning-after hair, clothes and make-up, and the fact that he actually believed Hermiones' story, Ron couldn't help but laugh at his friend. Harry, still looking as if he had been dropped from a passing UFO, left the kitchen and ran to his room, locking the door, before Ginny could attach herself to him again.  
  
"Let's just clean up the stuff that will smell if we leave it too long, and leave the rest for Harry."  
  
"Good plan," Hermione agreed.  
  
"Then, er. . . maybe you'd. . . er. . . um. . . may-maybe. . . we could. . . g-gooutforbreakfastsomewheremaybeifyouwantto." Ron said this last bit very fast and then turned a bright purplish-red. Hermione didn't even notice his embarrassment, or the fact it had taken Ron about 5 minutes to spit the words out.  
  
"Sure. I think Fred and George used up anything remotely edible last night."  
  
Ron almost felt light-headed with relief and had to use all his self control not to sway on the spot.  
  
"Er. Ok. Cool. Um. . . I'll just. . . I'll just get my wallet. . ." he said. His voice about two octaves higher than usual.  
  
"Wait - have you opened my present, yet?"  
  
"Oh, er. No. Should I open it now?"  
  
"Well, duh, Einstein."  
  
Hermione went into the living room and searched under the couch until she found the present.  
  
"Here you go."  
  
With trembling hands, Ron unwrapped the brightly wrapped gift. 


	3. In which George shows Hermione his behin...

Chapter 3  
  
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Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter or any of his friends or enemies or anything fun like that.  
  
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Ron opened Hermiones' present, blushing furiously at the attention she was giving him. When he saw what it was, he gasped, and turned about four shades redder.  
  
"Wow, Hermione - Agrippa! That's the only card I needed to finish my Chocolate Frog Collector Cards set."  
  
"Yeah, I know," said Hermione, grinning. "You can't begin to imagine how hard it was to find one. And then to convince the guy to sell it to me. I had to sleep with him in the end. But, that's what friends are for right?"  
  
Ron looked shocked. No, more than shocked - he looked ready to kill someone. Hermione laughed.  
  
"Jeez, Ron. You take everything so seriously. I was kidding."  
  
Ron, still feeling slightly faint at the thought of his Hermione with another man, nodded dumbly.  
  
"Er, well. I'll just put this in my room. Thanks so much Hermione. Er, I'll just get my wallet then. . ."  
  
Ron wandered out of the room in a bit of a daze, staring at his new card. He found his wallet under some socks in his room, and was about to put the card away with the rest of his collection. . . then decided against it. He slid the card into his wallet.  
  
"Ok, I'm ready, Hermione. . ." his voice trailed off. Where had Hermione gone?  
  
"In here, Ron. George is showing me his new tattoo."  
  
Georges' new tattoo? Ron stood with a bewildered look on his face for a moment. Then -  
  
"George! Don't show Hermione that! Hermione - close your eyes!" Ron ran into the kitchen where George had his pants around his ankles. "George! Hermiones' a *lady* - don't show her your, er, behind. . ."  
  
Both the twins and Hermione burst into laughter.  
  
"A lady?!?"  
  
Ron turned bright red (how many times was that this morning?) and mumbled,  
  
"Well, er. I just. . ."  
  
"Relax, Ron. I've seen it before." She winked at George and Ron felt incredibly jealous.  
  
"Come on, Hermione. I thought we were going for breakfast. George, when are you going home?"  
  
George considered this for a minute.  
  
"I haven't decided yet. Probably today, as you have no food left. But we'll be back when you've been shopping." Fred nodded and climbed out of the cupboard.  
  
"Sounds good to me. Let's go."  
  
oOo  
  
Ron gazed at Hermione as she poured lashings of syrup onto her pancakes. His own were left untouched at his elbows. Hermione glanced up as she offered him the syrup and caught him staring.  
  
"Are you staring at me, Ronald Weasley?"  
  
"Er, uh. No. I mean. . . you have, uh, something on your nose."  
  
Hermione frowned and rubbed her nose.  
  
"Is it gone?"  
  
"Er, yes."  
  
"Good."  
  
She cut a massive chunk of pancake and stuffed it into her mouth. Syrup drooled down her chin and she wiped it off with the back of her hand. Ron thought this was adorable.  
  
"So," she said around her mouthful of food. "Do you really think I'm a lady?"  
  
"Er. . . I guess. . ."  
  
"You guess? The correct answer, is 'Yes, of course I do, Hermione. You are a beautiful princess, and I am overjoyed that you are sacrificing your morning to dine with me'."  
  
"Oh. Er. Well, of course."  
  
"Ron," she sighed, after swallowing her mouthful. "It doesn't count now that I've said it. You just don't understand girls, do you. Are you going to eat that?" she said, pointing at his untouched pancakes.  
  
"You can have them."  
  
"I didn't say I wanted them, Ron. I was just pointing out that you have been staring at me all morning instead of eating your breakfast. You might as well at least try them, as you're paying."  
  
Ron blanched - how had she seen his looking at her all morning? He had been very subtle.  
  
"Er. . . I'm not hungry."  
  
Hermione gave him a funny look.  
  
"Ron, what's the matter? You didn't have any of Fred and George's concoctions last night did you?"  
  
"Ah. . . no. . . no it's nothing. Sorry."  
  
"Ron. Don't be silly. You can tell me. . . it's a girl, isn't it?"  
  
"WHAT!?!? Er. I mean. No, of course not."  
  
Hermione blinked.  
  
"Ok then, Ron. Whatever you say. Keep in mind that when I read your diary, I will find out if you're lying to me or not."  
  
"I - er, I'm not lying. Hang on, what makes you so sure I have a diary anyway?"  
  
"Ron, it's so obvious. You're the worst liar in the world." Ron blushed. He didn't think he was *that* bad. "Besides, I asked Harry this morning when you were looking for your wallet. He's already read it. He said it's really entertaining."  
  
"He - he, what?"  
  
"He's Read It."  
  
"But, how could he? I, I hid it. . ."  
  
"Ah-ha!" Hermione exclaimed. "I KNEW you had a diary!"  
  
"Harry's read it? How could he? That's personal stuff. . . er. . . I mean. . . I don't keep a diary. . ."  
  
Hermione just laughed at Ron and finished her pancakes. 


	4. In which Fred feels a bit blue and Hermi...

Ron's Birthday Wish  
  
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Disclaimer: If I owned these characters, they would be performing menial labour for me. As it is, I am stuck servantless.  
  
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It was about two weeks after Ron's birthday, and Hermione had been far too busy with her apprenticeship at the Ministry of Magic (Department of the Awareness of the Welfare of Magical Creatures) to have spent time with her friends. But, this particular Friday, her boss had forbidden her to do any work, and had given her £20 to go and have fun.  
  
Reluctantly she decided to do so. Pocketing the £20, she went around to Ron and Harrys' flat.  
  
The flat was still dishevelled - Hermione would have thought that they still hadn't cleaned up from the party a fortnight ago, but she knew perfectly well it looked like that beforehand. She knocked loudly on the door and had to wait for about 5 minutes before someone decided to open the door.  
  
That someone was Ron.  
  
He was so surprised he dropped his glass. It shattered on the floor, and Hermione sighed with exasperation.  
  
"Oh Ron, you are such a butterfingers," she said as she magicked it back together with her wand. "Here you go. So. . . what's everyone up to?"  
  
"Er, they're in the kitchen. Fred and George have just started a bartenders course and they're using us as guinea pigs."  
  
"Sounds like. . . f-fun." It took Hermione a lot of effort to spit that word out, but she felt a great sense of achievement when she finally did. "Er, can I come in?"  
  
Ron, realising he was still blocking the door, quickly moved out of the way, almost dropping his glass again in his hurry. Hermione went into the kitchen, where Harry and Ginny were already seated around the table next to each other - much to Harry's frustration and Ginny's delight. Fred and George were wearing striped aprons over their robes and were standing behind the bench, surrounded with various cocktail ingredients.  
  
"Hermione! Can we get you anything?"  
  
"Er, um. . ."  
  
"We'll make you something nice, don't worry."  
  
"Er, ok then. . ."  
  
Hermione sat down next to Ginny, and Ron promptly placed himself next to her.  
  
"Harry, can I try your drink?" Ginny asked.  
  
"Uh, er. . . ok. . ."  
  
Ginny grabbed his drink and sipped it in what she thought was a very seductive way. She gave it back to Harry with a simpering smile. Harry didn't touch the drink after that.  
  
"Here you go, Ma'am," George said as he presented Hermione with a cocktail glass full of a dark liquid.  
  
"Er. . . is it safe to drink?" she asked hesitantly.  
  
"Of course. It's a Chocolate Soldier."  
  
"Um, ok then." She sipped at it tentatively. "Wow! It's really good!" She downed the rest of the glass and slapped it back down on the table. "Bring me another, Mr. Bartender!"  
  
"Whoa - Hermione! You party animal!"  
  
Another glass was put in front of her, and she drank that too. Most of her friends were all rather shocked at her un-Hermioneish behaviour. Ron wasn't sure if she should be drinking so much, so quickly. . . Harry was too busy trying to move his chair away from Ginny's to notice. Ginny was too busy trying to move her chair closer to Harry's to notice either him moving away, or Hermione's drinking. Fred and George were pleased that at least one of their cocktails was going down well - Ron's and Ginny's both sat untouched on the table, and Harry's was only half gone, courtesy of Ginny.  
  
"Er, Hermione, maybe you should slow down - you've never drunk before. . ."  
  
"Shuddup, Ron. Who are you, my mother?" She giggled maniacally and skulled another glass. Then she stood up, swaying dramatically. "Hehe. . . it's spinning around. Is this supposed to happen?"  
  
"Sometimes. . . but not usually after 3 glasses. . ." Ron grabbed her arm and pulled her back down in the chair. "Hermione, I don't think you should drink any more. . . at least not for awhile-"  
  
Ron's thoughts were ignored, however, and Fred and George began trying out other recipes on Hermione.  
  
~*~  
  
Fred and George weren't the only twins in the flat that evening - the incredibly jealous looks on Ginny and Ron's faces were identical as Harry and Hermione tried to tango together. As neither had the faintest idea how the tango went, they were pretty much stumbling around very closely together.  
  
Giving up on the tango, Harry decided it would be a fantastic time for an impromptu strip tease. Ginny's face certainly brightened up at this idea, but Ron thought it was probably a good idea Harry wasn't grinding his pelvis up against *her* - she would have probably burst with excitement.  
  
Fred and George had given up making proper cocktails, and were once again trying to concoct their own recipes - this time without the blender though (Ron had hidden it after finding out they were coming around that evening). There was a loud bang and bright purple smoke began billowing out of the kitchen. Ron jumped up and ran into the room.  
  
Sitting on the bench was a very fat, very slimy and very blue frog. Lying on the ground with tears of laughter streaming down his face was the frogs twin brother, George.  
  
"Er. . .?"  
  
"I call it," George gasped, "Fred the Frog."  
  
Fred croaked wetly.  
  
~*~  
  
"Urgh. . . it hurts. . . it hurts. . ."  
  
Hermione was lying on the bathroom floor, sobbing and clutching her stomach. Ron was sitting beside her, holding her hand and telling her everything was going to be ok.  
  
"I think I'm going to be sick again. . ." Ron held her hair back as she vomited into the toilet.  
  
Ron had no idea where everyone else had gone. No doubt Ginny was still fawning over Harry, and Harry was still trying to avoid Ginny. And George and Fred the Frog were most probably getting into trouble somewhere - when weren't they?  
  
Just then Ginny came in.  
  
"Have you seen Harry? He said he just needed to go to the loo. . . but that was about 20 minutes ago. . ."  
  
"Er, no. We've been in here for like, an hour and we haven't seen him."  
  
Ginny frowned.  
  
"Oh. If I didn't know better I'd think he was avoiding me, but he must've forgotten what he was going to do. I think he had a bit much to drink actually. . . What's wrong with Hermione?"  
  
Stupid girl, thought Ron. If you weren't so obsessed with someone who was obviously not interested in you then you would have noticed that Hermione had way too much to drink. . .  
  
"She's drunk. Can't you tell."  
  
"Oh. Well. Bye then," she waved as she left the bathroom and continued her search for The Boy Who Was Good At Hiding.  
  
~*~  
  
Hermione groaned. Where was she? Why did she feel like. . . er. . . well. Several obscenities came to mind. She squinted and tried to focus on the room. It definitely wasn't hers - it was far too messy. And orange. . .  
  
Ron's room - she must be in Ron's room.  
  
In his bed?!?!  
  
Hermione sat up, and the room spun maniacally. Hermione groaned and sank back down on the pillows.  
  
Yup.  
  
She was in Ron's bed all right. Ron wasn't here though.  
  
"Hermione? Are you awake?"  
  
Hermione grunted and kept her eyes shut firmly.  
  
"How are you feeling."  
  
Another grunt.  
  
"Er, do you want any breakfast?"  
  
Hermione groaned.  
  
"Ok, then. I guess not. I'll just leave you to sleep then. . ."  
  
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A/N How will Hermione feel about Ron after he was the only one to hold her hair back? Well. . . we'll just have to see about that. 


	5. In which Ron's diary is found

Ron's Birthday Wish  
  
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Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but *trumpet fanfare* I DO own Ron's diary *evil laugh here* ok ok then. No I don't own that either. Sucks to be me :P  
  
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Hermione fell asleep again, and Ron left her lying there - he knew perfectly well how she was feeling - how many times had he done the same thing? He was going to go into the kitchen to make himself some breakfast at least, when he heard a strange noise coming from Harry's room.  
  
He knocked quietly on the door. No answer. He knocked again.  
  
"G-go away!"  
  
Naturally Ron walked in.  
  
And gasped.  
  
Harry was sitting in the corner of the room. Crying. His normally dishevelled hair was a birds nest, and his eyes were swollen and red. He hiccupped and sniffed.  
  
"I s-said go *hic* away, Ron."  
  
"That's why I came in. Er. . . I don't supposed you want to talk about it?" This whole Sensitive New Age Guy thing was hard for Ron, but he kept on trying.  
  
"No."  
  
"Oh. Ok." Ron looked around the room. "Wow - cool. Can I have this?"  
  
"Piss off, Ron. I know you're poor, but stop trying to take my stuff all the time."  
  
"Fine then. Well. Are you going to tell me why you're crying or do I have to find your diary."  
  
Harry looked aghast.  
  
"My - my diary? Er. . . I don't have one. . ."  
  
He avoided Ron's eyes.  
  
"Er, yeah. Me neither. So, you're gong to have to tell me instead."  
  
Harry sniffed and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his robe.  
  
"Well. Ok then. But you have to promise not to tell anyone." Ron promised. "Well. . . last night, I, er. . ."  
  
"Had way too much to drink. As usual. Yes, I witnessed it." Ron shuddered at the memories.  
  
"Yes, well. I sorta. . . I sorta. . ."  
  
Ron *looked* at him.  
  
"I asked Ginny to marry me!" Harry wailed.  
  
"Harry, we made that up two weeks ago - you didn't really, we were just messing with your mind, mate."  
  
"No, I seriously did last night. On bended knee and everything. Fred and George got it on video." His eyes welled up again. "Never let me drink again, Ron. I ASKED GINNY TO MARRY ME!!!"  
  
~*~  
  
Hermione woke up for the second time that morning. Her head was still thumping and she didn't think she would be able to eat anything for at least a year, but she was feeling better. She rolled over and saw something peeking out from under one of the pillows.  
  
Her curiosity aroused, she reached out and uncovered it. It was a small Chudley Cannons notebook. She opened it up, wondering what on earth it was doing under Ron's pillow.  
  
It was Ron's diary. . .  
  
~*~  
  
"What?!?"  
  
"I asked her to marry me."  
  
"*You* asked *Ginny* - Ginny, as in my sister Ginny - to marry you. GINNY?!?! MY BABY SISTER?!?!"  
  
"Er, yeah," said Harry, wiping Ron's spit off him.  
  
"I'LL KILL YOU!!!"  
  
Ron leaped onto Harry and started strangling him. There was a scream as Ginny came into the room and saw her beloved fiance being strangled by her brother. She launched herself onto Ron's back and began to bite and scratch him.  
  
After a few minutes, during which there was a lot of biting, scratching, bitch-slapping, and strangling going on, they all fell to the floor, panting.  
  
"We're going to get married, Harry!"  
  
"I know," he winced.  
  
"You bastard, Harry."  
  
"I know."  
  
~*~  
  
'Dear Diary', read Hermione. 'I found a really nice watch in Harry's room today. Also took a pillow, a pair of shoes and a t-shirt.'  
  
Blah, blah, blah, quidditch, job, quidditch..  
  
'Dear Diary, I found Harry's diary when I was going through his stuff today. It was quite entertaining - apparently he's organising me a surprise party for my 21st. Sounds pretty good. The diary was also rather disturbing, but will make for good reading on a rainy day. I've made note of where he keeps it, so I can go read it next time I get bored. Also took his camera, a pair of socks and some robes. I'm sure he wont notice.'  
  
Hermione flipped through a couple more pages.  
  
'Dear Diary, Tomorrow it will be my 21st birthday. I know I should be excited - especially as this bash Harry's been organising sounds like it's going to be really good (NOT that I know about it. . .), but the fact is I'm not. Don't get me wrong, I do like my friends, but there's only one of them who takes me seriously. I only wish there was a way I could tell her. There's nothing I want for my birthday except for her to. . .'  
  
Hermione dropped the diary as if it were on fire.  
  
~*~  
  
A/N hehehe I bet you an guess what it said. NO! It wasn't that bad you sick person :P Glad I'm making people laugh :D Don't forget to review!!! They make my day! 


	6. In which Hermione avoids Ron and Ginny b...

Ron's Birthday Wish  
  
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo  
  
Disclaimer: I'm currently convincing JKR to leave these characters to me in her will.  
  
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo  
  
Ron, Harry and Ginny were lying on the floor, each with their own separate thoughts tumbling through their heads.  
  
Ron had moved on from considering different ways to kill his ex-best friend, and was now wondering what he should have for breakfast. Harry was wondering how on earth to get out of this engagement. Ginny was wondering whether Harry would like her hair better up or down for the wedding. She was just about to ask him, when they heard the front door slam.  
  
All three got up and peered down the hallway. There was no one there. Ron looked in his room to see if the noise had woken Hermione up.  
  
There was no one there. Hermione had gone.  
  
oOo  
  
At work on Monday, Hermione was noticeably distracted. It wasn't until she screwed up her 9th piece of parchment, threw it in the wastepaper bin and then set fire to it, that the other workaholics in her department realised something was probably wrong.  
  
"Hermione," said Lemon, a short, plump witch in tie-dyed robes, tortoiseshell glasses and a 'Save the Dragons' t-shirt. "Is something the matter?"  
  
Hermione sighed irritably.  
  
"It's this boy," she said.  
  
"Do you like him? Is he good-looking? Is he rich? What sort of broom does he have? What are his thoughts on the 'Save the Dragons' proposal?"  
  
"Er. . ." Hermione chose to avoid those questions. "You see, the thing is, he likes me. But he doesn't know I know. I read his diary you see."  
  
Lemon looked slightly scandalised.  
  
"He *likes* you?"  
  
"Apparently."  
  
"Do you like him?"  
  
"Er. . . you see. That's the thing. I've never really thought of him as more than a good friend. A completely mad friend, yes, but a good one."  
  
"Oh. And now?"  
  
"Now. . . I dunno. . . maybe. . ."  
  
oOo  
  
George walked into Ron and Harry's flat late Wednesday afternoon, carrying Fred the Frog in a glass jar.  
  
"I've decided," he announced. "That I rather like Fred in this form, and I shan't be taking him to the doctor."  
  
Harry and Ron raised their eyebrows.  
  
"He's blue," said Harry bluntly.  
  
"And slimy," Ron pointed out.  
  
"Yes. I think it quite becomes him."  
  
Fred croaked loudly, possibly agreeing with his twin. He could, of course, have been disagreeing or talking about a different subject all together, but George chose not to consider these options.  
  
"*Anyway*," continued George. "What we've really come around for is to show you the video we made from last Friday. Well, when I say *we*, I really mean *me* as Fred can't hold the camera any more. But he was there."  
  
George put the tape labelled 'Harry Proposes' into the VCR and turned the TV on.  
  
"Er. . . do I really want to see this? It's bad enough just remembering it. . ."  
  
"Of course you do. It's really quite interesting."  
  
George pushed play and the TV screen fuzzed to life. The camera work was very wobbly (probably owing to all the cocktails George had consumed that evening), but Harry was clearly identifiable. He was kneeling in front on Ginny, holding her hand.  
  
"Ron," he slurred. "Is that you?"  
  
"No, Harry, it's me - Ginny," she giggled, blushing.  
  
"Ron. I think we should get married. Will you marry me?"  
  
"I'm Ginny, Harry. And YES! I *will* marry you!"  
  
Ron and Harry looked at each other.  
  
"You didn't propose to Ginny! You proposed to me!"  
  
~*~  
  
Hermione paced around her room.  
  
How on earth was she going to face Ron now?  
  
Sure, he didn't know she knew. . . and that was good. She could just pretend she had never read his diary. . . yes, that was a good idea.  
  
But. . . what if she didn't want to pretend? What if, perhaps, she DID like him. . .  
  
Did she?  
  
Hermione thought back over the 10 years she had known him. . . the arguments, the talks, the laughs. . . she saw it all in a new light now? How long had he liked her?  
  
How long had she liked him?  
  
~*~  
  
"Gods, Harry. You thought you were proposing to me."  
  
Harry's eyes lit up.  
  
"I didn't propose to her! I don't have to marry her! I love you, George!" Harry ran up and ecstatically ran around the room like an escaped lunatic. "This is the best day of my life! Praise the Lord! Hallelujah!" He picked up Fred's jar and shook it. "I didn't propose to her! I DIDN'T PROPOSE TO HER!!!"  
  
Still singing, Harry danced out of the room. Ron looked at George.  
  
"You knew that the whole time didn't you?"  
  
"Hell yes. Of course I did. But wasn't it funny watching him squirm?"  
  
"Bags not telling Ginny."  
  
"Er. Yeah. Harry can do that for himself."  
  
"Harry can do what?"  
  
Ron and George turned around to see who had just entered the room. It was Ginny, her arms full of bridal magazines, swatches of fabric and samples of wedding cake.  
  
"Er. . . Harry has something to tell you. . ." 


	7. In which Ginny finds out, Fred the Frog ...

Ron's Birthday Wish  
  
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. If I did, I would be writing cool stories that I could make a PROFIT from.  
  
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo  
  
Harry was jumping on his bed in excitement when Ginny walked in.  
  
"Heya, Harry. Are you excited about our wedding, too? We have a lot to plan though, so come down here and help. Which fabric do you like better for the bridesmaids robes?"  
  
"I'm excited because we're NOT getting married, Ginny," he said, very tactfully.  
  
"What?"  
  
"We're not getting married - I didn't propose to you at all!"  
  
"WHAT?!?" Ginny screeched, dropping magazines, fabric and cake samples onto the floor.  
  
"I didn't propose to you - I thought you were Ron!"  
  
Ginny stood in Harry's doorway, breathing deeply in anger and turning a strange shade of purple. Her left eye began to twitch. Harry thought he probably should stop jumping on the bed.  
  
"Er. . . I'm sorry?"  
  
Ginny opened her mouth in an ear-splitting scream and ran from the house.  
  
George looked at Fred the Frog in his jar.  
  
"I think she took that rather well."  
  
Fred croaked in agreement.  
  
oOo  
  
There was a knock on Hermione's apartment door and she answered it to find George standing there with a blue frog in a jar.  
  
"Er. . . ???"  
  
"Hermione, this is Fred the Frog."  
  
"Oooo-kay. And where is Fred the twin?"  
  
"In the jar. He accidentally turned himself into a frog last Friday. You were there. . .??"  
  
"Oh, er. I don't actually remember anything I did on Friday."  
  
"Ah. Yes, well that's probably good."  
  
Hermione didn't ask.  
  
"Well, Fred and I came around to invite you to our flat tonight. We're going to be having a big bash to celebrate Fred's career move."  
  
"His career move?"  
  
"Yes. He's going to become world famous with his singing and dancing act. We have it all planned out. Who wouldn't pay money to see a blue frog that can sing and dance?"  
  
"Er. . . right."  
  
"So will you come?"  
  
"I'll think about it."  
  
"See you there, then. Fred will be most disappointed if you don't turn up, wont you, Fred?"  
  
Fred croaked wetly in his jar.  
  
"That means yes."  
  
"Ok then, I'll come. . . but I'm not drinking anything you've made. Or touched. Or looked at."  
  
"I quite understand."  
  
oOo  
  
Hermione sat by herself in the corner with a butterbeer in one hand and a glass of Firewhiskey in the other. She didn't know very many people at the party - they were mostly Fred and George's friends from the Joke Shop industry.  
  
She took a sip of Firewhiskey, and chased it down with some butterbeer to disguise the taste. She didn't really want to get drunk again - not after last Friday's episode - but there wasn't much else to do. Hermione wasn't the dancing type.  
  
Just then, Ron and Harry entered the party, already rather tipsy.  
  
"We're HERE!!!" Harry announced.  
  
Hermione tried to make herself look inconspicuous. It didn't work. The two boys came bounding over to her.  
  
"Hermione - where did you go on Saturday? You didn't even say goodbye!"  
  
"Oh, er. . . I remembered something that I had to do. Urgently."  
  
"Ooooh - where did you get that drink?" Harry ran off to find one.  
  
"I thought something was wrong when you ran off like that."  
  
"Oh - er. No, no. Just. . . business. . ."  
  
"Ah. Ok then. Can I get you another drink?"  
  
"Um, well. I wasn't really going to drink tonight."  
  
"Fair enough."  
  
Before Ron could go and get himself a drink, George came in holding something in his hand, covered in a black cloth. He stood on the coffee table in the middle of the room and yelled for attention.  
  
"Behold!" he cried. "Fred, the incredible, magnificent, electric blue, all- dancing, all-singing Frog!"  
  
He whipped off the cloth to reveal Fred in his jar. The jar had been decorated with silver stickers in the shape of stars, and Fred was wearing a white bow-tie. He blinked once, then croaked.  
  
"Let's get him drunk!" someone called out from the crowd.  
  
George hooted in the way only boys with alcohol can, and pumped his fist in the air.  
  
"Fred the drunken Frog!!"  
  
~*~  
  
Hermione and Ron were still sitting on the couch an hour later. Hermione was on her second Firewhiskey and Butterbeer. Ron was on his third.  
  
"Ron. . . I feel kinda dizzy. . ."  
  
"Do you wanna go outside?"  
  
"Yeah. . ."  
  
Ron helped Hermione up and took her outside. It was quite cold, and she felt a bit better.  
  
"Did you hear what happened with Harry and Ginny?"  
  
"No! Tell me."  
  
"Well, Harry got drunk, and everyone, including Ginny, thought that he proposed to her. But, George got the whole thing on video and it turns out Harry actually thought he was proposing to me. Ginny was pretty pissed off when Harry told her."  
  
Hermione laughed.  
  
"Poor Ginny. She really has it bad for him, huh?" She paused. "Wait - Harry thought he was proposing to you? Isn't that a bit. . ."  
  
"Yeah. . . I'm trying not to think about that. . ."  
  
"Fair enough." Hermione swayed a bit. "Er, do you mind if we sit down?"  
  
"Oh - no. Of course not."  
  
They both sat down on the front step.  
  
"So, how's Ginny now?"  
  
"She wont come out of her room. . . but she'll get over it. I think she knew deep down that he didn't *really* propose to her. She's just pretty annoyed that her little scheme didn't work."  
  
"I can imagine. It must be pretty awful to be so infatuated with someone who doesn't like you back. . ."  
  
Ron blushed, and hoped Hermione couldn't see in the dark.  
  
"Er, yeah. It must be. . ."  
  
oOo  
  
Fred the Frog was staggering around the coffee table. He was surrounded by a bunch of his friends, all hooting and making 'manly' noises.  
  
"Look - it'sh Freg the Shmashed Frod!" cried George in drunken delight, and poured another glass of butterbeer onto the blue amphibian.  
  
The frog hiccupped, and then with a sudden bang, accompanied by a lot of green smoke, Fred the human was lying on the table.  
  
"Whoa. . ." he said. "Did that really just happen?"  
  
"Oh no! What about our travelling act?!?" cried George in dismay. The smoke cleared away. There was a moments shocked silence and then everyone burst into laughter.  
  
"What? What?"  
  
"Fred," George gasped for air. "You're still blue!"  
  
oOo  
  
Whether it was the alcohol, or the setting, Hermione didn't know, but she was suddenly seised with a mad desire to do something SHOCKING.  
  
"Ron," she said. "I know it was your birthday, like, two weeks ago. . ."  
  
"Yeah. . ." Ron gave her a strange look.  
  
"Well, I'm sorry I didn't get you what you really wanted."  
  
Ron blanched.  
  
"Er, what-"  
  
Whatever he was going to say, Hermione never found out, because just then she decided to kiss him.  
  
"Happy Birthday, Ron," she said, pulling away.  
  
Ron sat on the doorstep, completely stunned.  
  
"Ron?"  
  
Hermione poked him.  
  
"Ron? Are you ok?"  
  
"Ah, er. Yeah," he said.  
  
And promptly fainted.  
  
oOo  
  
A/N Will post the next, and probably final, chapter soon!  
  
a BIG thanks to all my reviewers - you guys are the BESTEST!!!  
  
Sage and Snape: Come on, hun - wheres all the updates?!? I'm not taking uni work as an excuse - I was supposed to do a bunch of assignments, an essay outline + study for my test on Tuesday in the last two weeks. Haven't touched the work and am going back tomorrow :P No no, it's ok. Just make sure you don't forget about all your s&s fans - I'll need your fics to make me feel better when I flunk everything lol  
  
Straycat: no. no you can't have longer chapters :P Actually this one is longer than all the others. Lucky you! And the best way to thank me for reviewing yours is to update!!! UPDATE!! UPDATE!!!  
  
And awww thank you all so much - Red of Rose, Strawberry Sqirl Monkey, Debatingqueen, rurounix, CurlsofGold, Crooked Glasses, Hermione-Hogwarts - I love you all!!! If I haven't reviewed any of your fics yet, then I will soon, I promise! Except CurlsofGold - I can't speak spanish!!! Do tell me if you write any in english!! 


	8. In which there are no regrets and Harry ...

Ron's Birthday Wish  
  
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo  
  
Disclaimer: lalalalala... er. Sorry - what was that?  
  
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo  
  
Ron stood up and tapped his spoon on his glass. The ringing made everyone seated in the big hall quieten down, and he cleared his throat. Everyone turned to look at him, and he turned a violent shade of red.  
  
"Er. . . hi. . . ahem. I've learnt many things in my 23 years. On my 21st birthday I got one of the best presents I could have." Here he fumbled in the pocket of his robes and pulled out a rather dog-eared collectors card, and held it up for everyone to see. "I've carried it around with me every day since I unwrapped it. Unfortunately that's not actually what I wanted. Luckily, my new wife is smarter than we ever knew, and thanks to her, I'm going to have the present that I *really* wanted with me for the rest of my life. Thus, the most important thing I have learnt in my lifetime is to always hide your diary in a bad place if you want people to know what you really want for your birthday."  
  
There was a general laugh, rather like the sort you hear on very cheesy sitcoms. Hermione smiled up at her newly wed husband.  
  
"Er. . . I don't really have anything else to say." Hermione pinched him under the table. "Ow! Er. . . um. We will always live happily ever after?" Hermione smiled again, and Ron sat down, relieved he had said the right thing on such short notice.  
  
The wedding guests clapped and smiled, Mrs Weasley dapping at her eyes with a tissue, and began to eat their dinner.  
  
"Do you even feel the teeniest bit bad that you read my private diary?"  
  
Hermione thought for a moment.  
  
"No. Do you feel bad that you read Harry's diary?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Well, there you go."  
  
oOo  
  
The main course had been finished, and everyone was sitting around waiting for dessert to be served. The best man stood up and dinged his spoon on his wine glass.  
  
"Ahem. Attention! Ah. Ok. Well. Everyone can see that I'm not drunk, right?"  
  
Everyone looked at each other in bewilderment.  
  
"Er, right. Well. . ."  
  
He got out of his chair and walked over to the Bridesmaid of honour.  
  
"Ginny," he said on bended knee. "Will you marry me?"  
  
"Yes, Harry!" she squealed in delight and threw her arms around him.  
  
"Did you give him any homemade cocktails, Fred?" George asked with an evil smile on his face.  
  
"No! Did you?"  
  
Georges smile got bigger.  
  
"I might have. . ."  
  
oOo The End. oOo  
A/N So that's the end. Tada! Please review! This was such a random story lol. I must apologise for the weirdness, but yep. I'm not a sane person, so it's very hard to write like one. If anyone has any more ideas for future fics, then please suggest away!!!  
  
Loves to you all!! Especially to the people who reviewed after I wrote everyone's names in the last chapter. I'm sorry!! But I love you too!! 


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